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Updated: Nov 13, 2023

I am a mad woman -


Caution, thrown out with hurricane winds

My angelic voice now scratchy and deep

Once green eyes now dark and mysterious

For a hardened criminal now dwells here!

I did it.

I stole the rented bowling shoes.

Stole 'em!

Right out from underneath the alley's nose

I took the two-toned lace-ups

Now -

Those stolen foot gloves sit on my cold hardwood floors


And hardened like my blackened heart!

I stare at them

Those used shoes of stranger's feet

They reek of lysol and toe jam

The mere thought of how disgusting they are sickens me - they're grotesque!

Grotesque .... and glorious

For it was with a sneak so concealed that the dirty slick bottoms crept into my bag of bowling

My smile Grinch-like

My fingers sticky

And my libido .... throbbing

Too long have I been good!

Forever a rule follower - THAT girl's in the past!

For I am a bad, bad woman - A dirty trickster

A matron of the night!

Drinking blood and casting spells - I'm no good and good for nothin'

Satisfied and with ego full, I sleep deep

Only to wake in the night of middle

"OH NO! What have I done? What have I become?!"

A thief? A dirty rat?

Stealing USED shoes for pleasure?

Oh goddess, I'm doomed! They're waiting for me for sure!

Watching the surveillance footage over and over, studying my every move

Any minute now the fuzz will bust through the door and slap the freezing cuffs of justice on me!

In this fear I cannot live

For I must right this wrong, the music I must face

I, girl once known as good then turned bad, will once again be known as good

Rise sun, morning of next is here

My hands shake as I slink back into the bowling alley

The dirty public soft loafers dangle from my corrupt conspired tentacles

My guilt-ridden mind racing

My forehead sweating and furrowed

My libido .... still throbbing

One last deep breath as my anxious eyes meet those of the alley shoe guy

I place the rotten tainted slippers on the counter with a heavy gulp

The alley shoe guy looks up from wiping down the slab

His eyes meet mine and my spine turns icy

His mouth opens - here it comes - my crushing punishment - and well deserved

"Alright, thanks." Says the greasy faced teen through braces and axe body spray

"Uh, thank you!" I squeak out as I make a mad dash for the door

Whew, that was a close one

I am again girl known as good

I -

Oh, look at those shinny bowling balls!

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